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No. 705: The Craig Compilation, Vol. III

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The Craig Compilation, Vol. III

First | Previous | 2023-06-24 | Next | Latest

Permanent URL: https://mezzacotta.net/itoons/?comic=705

Strip by: Wibi

[Basic Panel Setup]:
Narration Box: First Class Geek: Happily sails away from the shores of reality.
{Insert phrase from appropriate panel (shown below)}
Cashier: Uh, Craig?

Glasses Bug: {angrily pointing} GET THE HELL OFF MY PROPERTY!!
Green Beret Bug: This flat-footed pile of reject is all yours.
Bug At The End Of Time: Clocks don't normally scream and burst into flames, do they?
{A Bug with his trousers off is thrusting his pelvis forward.}
Little Bug In Bumper Cart: Mind if I wait for a few more cars to fill?
Low Self-Esteem Bug: This must be a ploy to distract me from an assassin sent to kill me.
Moses: Let my people have "Casual Friday"!
{A rifle from partially off-screen is pointed at the cashier.}
Glasses Bug With Pistol: Hey, everybody shoot the big, defenseless, slowly twirling target!
Mugshot Bug: Well your definition of: "a lewd act committed against a traffic cone" is downright prudish.
Smoking Bug: Holy Spaceballs! Someone write this droid a check!
{A beefy Bug has snapped a pen with his chest.}
Beefy Bug: Curse my allergies and overall beefiness!
Spouse Bug: Fine, then I'm the only one who gets bear mace.
Bug Holding Papers: I don't wanna brag, but I hope you got your smiley-face stickers ready.
Standing Bug: ...If only this chair-loving lard-ass had followed my example.
Salem Bug: Stop grooving on thy punishment!
Jackboot Bug With Shih Tzu: Cinnamon, lunge!!
Bug With Coffee: Nope. I can still see his whiskers.
Bug With Clipboard: Would you like to shake kids with diabetes?
Object Permanence-Perplexed Bug: But if I close my eyes, is my waffle still there?
Pizza Delivery Bug With Many Boxes Of Pizza: Well, someone ordered you 25 penguin and anchovy pizzas.
{A German boy has bashed a piñata labeled "Der Piñata", and sauerkraut has spilled onto the floor.}
Bug Holding Popcorn With Greasy Left Arm: Good thing I lubed up with butter-flavored oil!
Server Tech Support Bug On Phone Tapping Cashier With Broom: There. That do anything on your end?
Demon: If you were to give us a child, we might be able to-
Caterpillar Bug (In A Non-Redundant Sense): Ugh. I sure hope Wild Kingdom isn't filming this.
{Adam Huber is farting in his sister's roller skate.}
Glasses Bug Talking To Cool Bug And Pointing At Cashier: Three hours in and he still hasn't had to uncinch anything.
Unskilled Fencer Bug: Well, I call thee a charlatan!
Bug Hitting Cash Register With Cross: Why isn't this hurting you?
Butt: So, does North Korea freak you out?
Bug Vigorously Scrubbing Floor: C'mon, you bitch! You never absorbed anything in your life! Now fight! FIGHT!!
Sinner Being Damned To Hell Bug: Nooooooo...
Elementary School Conductor Bug: THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!!
Virtual Reality Bug: Welp, it's in Darwin's hands now.
{A houseplant is hanging from a noose.}
Other Cashier: Uh, Craig?

The author writes:

Original iToons strips: The Craig Compilation, Vol. I, The Craig Compilation, Vol. II.

Original Bug Martini strips: To Come Apartment at the Seams, No Shirt, No Shoes, No Way in Hell, Time's Up, Strike a Pose, Childproof Aloof, Self Esteem is Fickle, Thou Shalt Not Be Rude, Crappin' on Cartwheels, Out of the Picture, The Public Opinion Strikes Back, Pen-MAN-ship, Till Mauled Do We Part, Die Hard Without a Vengeance, Stand the Test of Whine, Keeping Abreast of Witches Issues, Wuss in Boots, A Picture is Worth a Couple of Rooms, Shake It Off, Socratic Method for Dummies, Seal of Approval, Manila Folders Part 2, Caligulate, Website Woes, Website Woes (again), Lordy Lordy Look Who's Grody, A Comic By Any Other Name, Dress for Success, Easily Foiled, Counterspell, No Butts About It, Red Carpet Premiere, Said in Vain, Rant in E-Minor, Virtual Fatality, A Pain in the Grass, Geekdom.