» About     » Archive     » Submit     » Authors     » Search     » Random     » Specials     » Statistics     » Forum     » RSS Feed     Updates Daily

No. 4770: How Will You Be Able To Tell?

First | Previous | 2022-06-10 | Next | Latest

How Will You Be Able To Tell?

First | Previous | 2022-06-10 | Next | Latest

Permanent URL: https://mezzacotta.net/garfield/?comic=4770

Strip by: Crazy56U

{We open on Jon, talking to Garfield cheerfully; Garfield is uninterested}
Jon: Garfield, I was just outside!
{Jon leans in, his eyes dilated, and points to his nose}
Jon {slightly manic}: An insect flew up my nose!
{Jon begins twitching and moving his hands around his head}
Jon {completely manic}: I'll be going insane any second now!
Garfield {bored}: How will you be able to tell?
{Cut to later that day; the mailman, whistling a tune, arrives with the mail. Jon watches from the bushes, waiting to strike}
{Jon proceeds to lunge out and attack the mailman}
Jon: ROWR!
{Cut to the aftermath; Garfield, having been drawn outside by the commotion, observes the mailman's prone body slumped on the ground}
Garfield: I wonder if killing a mailman is a federal offense
{Cut to later that same day; Jon and Garfield observe as the phone begins to ring}
SFX: RING
{Jon picks up the phone}
Phone Caller: This is the police. We're coming to arrest you.
{Garfield is concerned; Jon has no reaction}
Jon {hanging up, nonplussed}: I wonder who that was?
SFX: SMACK
Garfield {slapping his forehead in exasperation}: You are the stupidest insane person alive.
{Cut to a little while later. Jon, not caring at all about what happened, is showing off a tie to Garfield. Garfield humors him}
Jon: Like my tie, Garfield?
Garfield: Well, I-
{Both freeze as someone yells from outside}
Voice: JON ARBUCKLE, THIS IS THE POLICE! YOU ARE SURROUNDED!
{Garfield glances to the viewer in concern as Jon glances to the door}
Garfield: Well, things just took a turn for the worse...
Voice: COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!
{Jon promptly discards his tie, and walks to the front window}
Jon: Hey!
{Jon approaches the window in anger}
Jon: Get away from my house!
{Jon smushes his entire face against the glass}
Jon: NYLEAVE!
{Cut to the next morning; the police, all suffering from jaundice and totally not being from Springfield, continue to surround Jon's house with guns raised, as a SWAT van is parked behind them}
{No, this panel is not from The Simpsons}
{Cut to Jon, having just woken up, opening his front door and yelling in his PJs}
Jon: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!
{Cut to Garfield, worried about what Jon is about to do}
Garfield {arms above head in a panic}: JON, NO!
{Cut to Jon, having discarded his PJs to reveal he was wearing a track outfit underneath, charging outside in a blaze of glory}
Jon: GO!
{Hard cut to black. It can be inferred what happens next}

The author writes:

Yeah, I dunno, Garfield, I think you could kind of tell...

Side note, this entire debacle was inspired by seeing those three panels of Jon from the strip of Garfield cleaning the window (1993-09-12). I do not know what inspired me to go this route, I honestly don't, and if this does not get published, I will understand, but at the end of the day, I spent several hours making this. That is all I can confidently say.

Original The Simpsons episode: "The Crepes of Wrath".

Original strips: 1984-01-30, 1986-10-12, 1987-03-08, 1987-07-15, 1989-08-11, 1992-06-01, 1993-09-12, 1996-08-26, 1999-07-23.