» About     » Archive     » Submit     » Authors     » Search     » Random     » Specials     » Statistics     » Forum     » Facebook     » RSS Feed     Updates Daily

No. 3257: 50 Ways to Say Goodbye

First | Previous | 2018-04-19 | Next | Latest

50 Ways to Say Goodbye

First | Previous | 2018-04-19 | Next | Latest

Permanent URL: https://mezzacotta.net/garfield/?comic=3257

Strip by: SonicLover

{A panel annotated 1995/03/25, in which Jon and Garfield are in an airplane experiencing turbulence}
Lyrics: She went down in an airplane
{A panel annotated 1978/09/21, in which Garfield discovers his stomach is sunburned}
Garfield: Snort, uh-oh!
Lyrics: Fried getting suntanned
{A panel annotated 1987/10/04, in which Garfield is setting up a cement mixer by a net, hole, and mirror}
Garfield: Then this cement mixer will tip, sealing that sucker up for about ten million years
Lyrics: Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
{A reproduction of SRoMG #672, annotated as such, in which Garfield commits suicide by recliner before Jon can catch him}
Garfield: I can't bear the thought of trudging through another dismal February
Jon: ♪
Lyrics: Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!
{A panel annotated 2000/04/09, in which Jon is looking mangled at the beach with Garfield and a shark looking at him}
Jon: Well, it can't get any worse than this
Shark: You called?
Lyrics: She met a shark under water
{A panel annotated 2005/03/08, in which Jon falls down with a WAAHHH and a CRASH while Garfield looks on}
Lyrics: Fell and no one caught her
{A panel annotated 2010/12/23, in which Jon is looking at perfume with Garfield present}
Jon: Maybe Liz would like some perfume
Lyrics: I returned everything I ever bought her
{A reproduction of SRoMG #1507, annotated as such, in which Odie discovers a dead Garfield}
Odie: Whimper
Jon: Yes, Odie, Garfield is dead. I'll go get the shovel and bury him
Lyrics: Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies and ways to say you died
{A panel annotated 1986/04/18, in which Jon's dad and Garfield are standing in a pool of mud}
Dad: Kind of muddy today, isn't it, Garfield?
Garfield: It is
Lyrics: She was caught in a mudslide
{A panel annotated 1983/01/16, in which Garfield is in a lion's cage, unaware of the lion behind him}
Garfield: That was a pretty convincing performance, if I do say so myself
Lyrics: Eaten by a lion
{A panel annotated 1988/06/12, in which Odie is driving a purple car with a VRMM}
Lyrics: Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
{A reproduction of SRoMG #1683, annotated as such, in which Jon discovers to little shock that Garfield has died}
Jon: One second, let me get a pen...
Jon: Gotta go, I think my cat just died.
Lyrics: Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!
{A panel annotated 1989/11/03, in which Garfield is pretending to starve to death}
Garfield: Thirty days without food or water, lost in the burning desert! I can't last much longer... this is it, men...
Lyrics: She dried up in the desert
{A panel annotated 1979/08/30, in which Garfield falls into a bathtub with a SPLOOSH!}
Lyrics: Drowned in a hot tub
{A panel annotated 1992/09/12, in which a disco ball has fallen on Jon's head while Garfield looks on unimpressed}
Garfield: Let's boogie on home. I'll lead
Lyrics: Danced to death at an east side night club
{A reproduction of SRoMG #2552, annotated as such, in which Garfield strangles himself trying to unravel an ugly sweater}
Garfield: There's more than one way to skin a cat
SFX: TWANG
Lyrics: Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies and ways to say you died

The author writes:

I happened to know that killing off Garfield was a recurring gag in SRoMG. I also happened to know that setting Garfield panels to song lyrics was another recurring thing in SRoMG. I stumbled upon these lyrics on TV Tropes (more specifically the quotes page for The Many Deaths Of You). So I strung it all together (after weeks of procrastination, that is).

Original song: "50 Ways to Say Goodbye" by Train.

[[Original strips and Square Root of Minus Garfield strips: see annotations on individual panels (links are in transcript).]]