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Solution: 2A. Learn Your ABCs
This puzzle is a variant of the Cockney Alphabet, a humorous association of letters to words that when pronounced aloud sound like various more or less common phrases. To make the associations, the letters and the word "for" need to be interpreted loosely, and it certainly helps to say the candidate phrases aloud when solving this puzzle.
There are some phrases with multiple possibilities, but the ambiguities can be resolved by working through the phrases with only a single good match. After doing this we end up with:
| Association | Explanation |
|---|---|
| A for 'orses | "Hay for horses" |
| B for chicken | "Beef or chicken?" |
| C for explosive | C-4 explosive |
| D for hit points | d4 hit points (such as a creature in Dungeons & Dragons) |
| E for process | E-4 process |
| F for aperture | f/4 aperture |
| G for nations | G4 nations |
| H for dependent visa | H-4 dependent visa |
| I for an eye | "Eye for an eye" |
| J for cave, Pennsylvania | J4 Cave, Pennsylvania |
| K for Gasherbrum II | K4, Gasherbrum II |
| L for dwarf | "Elf or dwarf?" |
| M for motorway | M4 motorway |
| N for Washburn guitar | N4 Washburn guitar |
| O for Pete's sake | "Oh for Pete's sake!" |
| P for a drug test | "Pee for a drug test" |
| Q for an amusement park ride | "Queue for an amusement park ride" |
| R for Fonzarelli | Arthur Fonzarelli |
| S for keep away from living quarters | S4 - keep away from living quarters |
| T for golf | "Tee for golf" |
| U for a longbow | "Yew for a longbow" |
| V for engine | V4 engine |
| W for penalties | "Double you for penalties" (referring to a penalty double in contract bridge) |
| X for superheroes | X-Force superheroes |
| Y for mistress | "Wife or mistress?" |
| Z for BMW | Z4 BMW |
Taking the number provided for each letter, indexing into the matching clue phrase, and arranging in order of the original clues, gives:
| Index | Clue | Letter |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | mistress | S |
| 2 | Pete's sake | E |
| 6 | an amusement park ride | S |
| 1 | aperture | A |
| 2 | BMW | M |
| 4 | cave, Pennsylvania | E |
| 1 | superheroes | S |
| 3 | nations | T |
| 4 | dwarf | R |
| 2 | dependent visa | E |
| 6 | chicken | E |
| 3 | motorway | T |
| 6 | penalties | T |
| 1 | hit points | H |
| 3 | an eye | E |
| 3 | 'orses | S |
| 4 | a drug test | U |
| 2 | process | R |
| 1 | Gasherbrum II | G |
| 2 | keep away from living quarters | E |
| 2 | Fonzarelli | O |
| 4 | a longbow | N |
| 3 | Washburn guitar | S |
| 5 | explosive | O |
| 2 | engine | N |
| 1 | golf | G |
The letters spell the clue phrase "SESAME STREET THE SURGEON SONG".
A quick Internet search reveals that the Surgeon Song from Sesame Street is actually named ALPHABET TIME, which fits the theme of the puzzle and is the solution.