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Permanent URL: https://mezzacotta.net/pomh/?comic=109
Strip by: Ian Boreham
title: The five stages of Thief
caption: Level 1: Denial
{A clumsy teenage male level 1 thief accosts a warrior in an alley with a bow and arrow. His arrow is held backwards.}
level 1 thief: Er... Sir, give me y-
warrior: No.
caption: Level 2: Anger
{A male level 2 thief steps from an archway with a dagger, to rob a large green orc-like creature.}
level 2 thief: Hey, gimme-
{The orc punches him in the face.}
orc: NO!
caption: Level 3: Bargaining
{A level 3 thief accosts a wizard in an alley.}
wizard: Look, I could just burn you to a cinder, but I don't want to waste the spell...
wizard: How about I just give you 10 GP if you promise not to waste my time again in future, Hmm?
caption: Level 4: Depression
{A blue female level 4 thief with a blaze of red hair is holding a fat man up using a crossbow, just around the corner from a tavern. The man is wearing jewellery and has a number of money pouches hanging from his belt.}
fat man: Why always me?!
caption: Level 5: Acceptance
{In broad daylight, on the edge of a large open square in the middle of town, a thief is slouched in a chair with his foot up on a crate. A pointy-eared wealthy gentleman, perhaps an official, is walking past him, and tosses him a pouch full of coins as he goes by.}
The author writes:
Level 1 thief-boy's mum bought him the belt. She wanted him to look presentable on his first day at work.
The fat guy actually suffers from narcissism and overacting, rather than clinical depression. He's clearly set himself up as a target, so he can get robbed by his favourite thief. Maybe they meet here regularly for this. Perhaps they even go and have a drink afterwards?
Why on earth did I decide to do such a long, complicated strip when my Surface pen was on the blink? What an idiot. Anyway, it's done now, with plenty of help from the mouse. I've ordered a replacement pen tip, which I hope will do the trick, but if not, I might be getting a new pen. In the meantime, I might be doing screencap comics.
Drawn in Krita and Inkscape.