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Permanent URL: https://mezzacotta.net/itoons/?comic=371
Strip by: KelpTheGreat
Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did?
Calvin: No, but I can recite the names and ranks of every named Shinigami in the Gotei 13, along with the names of their Zanpakutō and their associated Shikai and Bankai, the incantations of all the major Kidō, and sing along to the opening songs of the first 13 seasons of the anime in passable Japanese.
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin.
Calvin: I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
The author writes:
Pop quiz! Is this comic:
A. An attempt to update Calvin to a modern-day fandom?
B. Giving Calvin a fandom that is real, and not made-up for the comic as Captain Napalm was?
C. A shameless author self-insert?
D. All of the above?
The correct answer is...
D, obviously. Although it's only mostly accurate - while I can (or used to be able to, at least) do most of what Calvin claims, there's no way I'd be able to actually memorize all the Kidō incantations.Spoiler
The real question is: would Calvin, if we assume that he'd be his canonical age (6) at the time of this edit's publication, really be a fan of Bleach, an anime that started and ended before he was born? I like to think so. And Calvin would definitely be subs not dubs.
I learned my lesson on the last Calvin and Hobbes remix I did, so for this subsequent text-heavy submission, I went in search of an appropriate font. I found a "Calvin and Hobbes" font, but it didn't look right. Then I found a "Spaceman Spiff" font which looked good, but I couldn't figure out how to download it. Finally, I found this font: ACME Secret Agent, which I think looks very similar to the actual strip lettering. It's not a perfect match, but it saved literally hours of work.
My edit here preserves the punchline of the original comic, but I also came up with an alternate ending. YMMV on which version is funnier:
Original Calvin and Hobbes strip: 1992-03-25.