Xyzzy was born in 1732 to a pair of pathological liars who taught him nothing at all. He swears it on my mother's grave, that really did happen. I, for one, would appreciate it if he swore it on his own mother's grave, but he claims she was merely hung from a very tall tree and later taken by aliens, and that she in fact never died during this process. I'm tempted to believe that she is indeed alive, though whether that information can be taken as true remains to be seen.
In 2037, he will supposedly win a Nobel Prize in a new category, "Exploits". This category will be for people who do amazing things like open jam jars one-handed. He claims his will involve a toothbrush, thirty-nine squids, a length of rope, two pies (one cherry and one pumpkin), three vegetarian meals from a variety of California cafes, a single hair from the head of the Pope and a life-size Yoda-like robot only capable of drumming its fingers in ready anticipation.
He will die in 1999 of natural causes.
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