I had to skip the scene where Evil Spock does a Vulcan mind meld with McCoy to learn what McCoy knows about the parallel universe switcheroo. I would have liked to have Evil Spock say, "Remember," during the mind meld.

Transcript

1
Captain's log, Stardate 3823.7. The pacifist Halkans refuse to trade us dilithium.
Kirk: Four to beam up.
Scotty: This ion storm may affect the transporter, causing us to examine the nature of good and evil.
Kirk: Oh what are the odds of that?
2
Caption: Quite high!
{Mirror Enterprises in split panel}
3
Evil Spock: Mission status, Captain?
Kirk: Uh... no change.
Evil Spock: Standard procedure, then? Destroy the Halkans?
Kirk: Um... Sure... Wait! No!
4
{sick bay}
McCoy: What the blazes...?
Kirk: Somehow we transposed with evil counterparts in a parallel universe.
Scotty: Aye. Standard transporter malfunction.
5
Kirk: Uhura, check communications logs from Starfleet. I need to know my orders.
Uhura: Captain, I...
Kirk: I know you're scared. But it has to be you.
Uhura: I only relearnt my job, and English, from scratch last week.
6
Scotty: Doctor, I'll need your help rigging the transporter to get us home.
McCoy: I'm a doctor, not an evil engineer!
7
McCoy: Jim, what will you do?
Kirk: I'm in an evil universe, what do you expect me to do? I'll be checking out the evil babes.
8
{Spock's quarters. Behind him, where the good Spock has a 3D chess set, Evil Spock has a copy of the Dungeon Master's Guide}
Evil Spock: Captain, if you do not destroy the Halkans, I have orders to assassinate you and assume command.
{Split panel, showing Kirk in his quarters, talking to Spock on viewscreen}
Kirk: You know what happens when you assume, Spock.
9
{Kirk's quarters}
Evil Marlena: As Captain's woman, I know your secret. This alien device wishes your enemies out of existence!
Kirk: And in my own universe I gave that to a museum. Dang!
10
{bridge}
Caption: Uhura distracts Evil Sulu.
Caption: Warning light indicating Scotty is messing with the transporter.
11
{transporter room}
Evil Spock: I shall return you and get my evil captain back.
Kirk: Kill him and lead your empire to good! You know it's logical, Spock!
Evil Spock: Yes, but is it evil logical?
12
{bridge of the regular universe Enterprise}
Kirk: Have we met?
Marlena: No, sir. Lieutenant Marlena Moreau, assigned on board last week.
Kirk: Meet me in my cabin later...